The time is finally upon us for my long awaited new book to finally launch. It is different than anything I have ever written before, and I hope everyone enjoys it, but I know not everyone will. This is a book of brutal political satires. If you are still holding to a love of Trump, you may find this is not a book for you. It may also have offensive language and ideas in it, depending upon your world views. Keep in mind that it is a comedy book about a zombie apocalypse, and only should be taken seriously as a social commentary.
Keep Your eyes open. The zombies might be coming! Or maybe not. FOX says that there are no zombies in America.
There are No Zombies in America
Even when King is off, I still find him to be the best. This one is a miss for the master. This is the second book in the Bill Hodges/Mr. Mercedes Trilogy. It is the story of Morris Bellamy, a fan of a JD Salinger type of writer, but imagine if Salinger had turned Holden Caulfield into a sell-out advertisement agent before he stopped writing. You may not be outraged by the indignation, but Bellamy was. He was driven completely insane by the idea, driven to the point of murder. Bellamy’s monomaniacal fan-boydom is the driving force behind the book. While I would say it is a miss, I enjoyed the hell out of it and would still recommend it with gusto. I look forward to reading book three.
So I have been writing.
Want to know what I have been writing? Want to? Huh? Come on, you know you want to?
Well hell, I’m going to tell you anyhow. I recently typed the end to a book about America. It is a book about America and Americans and Trump and zombies.
I wrote a book about a zombie apocalypse, but there are no zombies in the book. The book takes place in America under the rule of President Trump in a time when the zombie apocalypse has ravaged the rest of the world, but no zombies have been spotted in America. Now stop for a second and think to yourself, how would the Trump voters in your life react to such an occurrence. Yep, all of that and so much more. If you are a Trump supporter, SCREW YOU! but also think about how the foolish liberals would react in the scenario. Yep, that’s in there too.
In my frustration of the election results, I wrote this novella and had a lot of fun doing it. I plan to release it on inauguration day. Stay tuned, and be sure to nab up a copy.
I have never been a huge Koontz fan. I view Dean Koontz as the McDonalds of genre fiction. Nobody really likes it, but a lot of people go there. Or maybe Coors Light is the better comparison since Coors light can do the trick, but you aren’t going to like it while it’s going down, and you may need to chase it with whiskey just to get the burn you need. The House of Thunder is very much a Coors Light. It is a novel with promise but no punch. It has a pulse but lacks a soul. Enough mixed metaphors? Okay, then let’s talk about the book.
First let me say that if you want to read this book, I suggest you don’t. It is crap, but if you insist, then stop reading this now. I will not hold back on spoilers. Deano spoiled it enough for everyone just by writing it.
Still reading? Okay then, let’s continue. The House of Thunder is a book about a young woman that wakes up in a hospital with no knowledge of how she got there. Then she starts seeing people from her troubled past, people that murdered a childhood boyfriend. There is some wonderful scary bits in this first 100 pages, but Deano being Deano, spoiled it all to shit by having her start to uncover a conspiracy in the hospital. This fragile, emaciated woman that had just came out of a coma begins running around and seducing the doctor. Just when the whole story becomes completely unbelievable, Deano outdoes himself by having it be a town wide conspiracy. Everyone is in on it except for lover-boy Doc. Around this time you as a reader will be ready to leave the book on the transit bus for the next poor sucker to pick it up and waste several hours reading it, but I wasn’t that smart. I finished the book. Want to know the big kicker, the big surprise ending? It was Russians. Yep. Russians. Now, go read something else, something that really burns going down.
If you are looking for something original and horrifying unlike anything you have read before then The Wretched Walls is not the book you should read. It is a book of the standard haunted house variety with vengeful and lurking specters dancing through the walls and cryptic messages being found. It is, however, a lot of fun. Brian Kaufman dove into the standard haunted house story and didn’t shy away, with strange discoveries happening throughout and mysterious element building to a conclusion that is both satisfying and unclear. As someone that reads a lot of horror, The Wretched Walls was nothing new and nothing extraordinary, but as someone that writes a lot of horror, I can also appreciate the angles and methods used throughout this book to make a creepy good read. Download a copy, nestle yourself into a cozy chair, and try not to look down the dark hallway. The Wretched Walls
Having seen the movie, I expected the book to be better than it was. That is not to say it was bad. King is a master of building suspense, and the suspense was captured nicely in the film adaptation. There isn’t a lot to say about this book that hasn’t been said a thousand times. It is King at the top of his game, but I didn’t find it scary, but I can tell he scared himself as he wrote it, and that is pretty awesome.
Annie Wilkes is a great villain. One of King’s strengths is creating complex, realistic villains, and Annie is probably his greatest creation. And the social commentary of a city man being kidnapped and tortured by a country woman is pretty great fun too.
This was the first book by Nick Cutter that I have ever read. And while I am quick to say that I didn’t like this book, I will say this, it held my attention and kept me reading. I will read more by Mr. Cutter, but I will have to let this one marinate for a while first. The story line was gripping and unpredictable, his use of suspense and human universalities was reminiscent of King’s work, and the horror was both gruesome and internal. While that would in most cases pull a four-star review form me, this book also failed for me in several aspects. Cutter’s use of descriptive metaphors often left me laughing rather than grossed out, a good trick, but not the intended reaction. The characters are more archetypal characters rather than real people. They are the standard child characters that can be seen in any Disney show, and that made me secretly hope that they all would die. The one thing that I can say about this book is that while reading it, any time my stomach growled, I thought, if only for a second, that I was being eaten alive by tapeworms. That feeling alone made it worth the time and money.